FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

haha... finally i get to say this word out loud... waiting for it for ages... well, glad i went through it all.. ups and downs... He is there to give me strength and support.. thank You Daddy for being there for me... :)

i got over u..

was going to class today and my 1st song on my iPod was daughtry i got over you... i mean now i really just wanna get over someone so i find this song relevant and i really got over you...

well, i never saw it coming, i should have started running a long long time ago,
and i never thought i'd doubt you, i'm better off without you,
more than you, more than you know
i'm slowly getting closure, i guess it's really over, i'm finally getting better
and now i'm picking up the pieces, spending all of these years
putting my heart back together
cause the day i thought i'd never get through
i got over you....

i am still slowly learning but i will... :)

tired of all nonsense...

better no more nonsense thing starting this week bec got tons to do and end of Oct is going to kill me if i don buckle up...... my nightmare will starts in 2 weeks time where all the main assignment is due and it is matter life or death.... i better be super careful of all i do now... :)

Lord be with me Lord... provide me the strength that i need to continue on Lord... without your strength i can't do anything Lord... without You i can't do anything Lord......

true or false.. well u decide...

i dunno whether i can trust some people or not right now... sometime its so hard to know whether they are telling the truth or just wanna play with ya... when i am finally fed up and ask straight front, then the truth will only come out... whats the matter with you... of all days you are telling me this now... you ( you know who you are) know better.... is always a heartache when i have to dig back the past and talk about it... you think is so easy don't you.... is my scolding from yesterday not enough and you just wanna fight.... is that what you really want... then you decide... if you still think that yesterday i am just playing with ya then go ahead.... i won't care so much anymore no matter what you say... you are just plain annoying... playing hard to get....

Lord, help me to forgive this person Lord... sometime is just hard for me to tolerate with someone like this and a lot of this always happens between me and that person... somehow i would rather have not know this person and pretent never exist in my life... it just hurts... Lord You know my weakness You know my pain.... Lord i just wanna commit all this into Your mighty hands... only You know what to do with this person.... whatever You want me to do, i will follow....

God is Great all the time...

you know somehow you just feel lost and nothing is going the way you want... well, to say the truth, nothing always go the way it should be because somehow God has something else for us to work with.. all of the suddenly you will just realise this is what God wants me to do but at the same time God wants me to choose as well for He always give us free will to choose... most of the time i feel like i always make the wrong decisions... too many wrong decisions it just make you wanna give up and just forget about it...

But thankfully, God will never ever give up on me... He is always there working in me just that i din notice it until it really hit me... God always wants me to be stronger each day, can make my own decisions....... but whenever a way goes wrong, i will start to say like why does all this always happen to me and not to anyone else... why me why me... but mum always tells me this...

I let go the need to know why, for He knows better than I do...

is actually a song where my sis share with me during the time in KL.... i am slowy learning to let go of knowing why all this thing happen but to just commit everything into His hands....... is so hard because deep down inside i am still wondering why all these happens... God help me to know that Lord You are in control of everything... everything in the world Lord... depend on You.... You are the only one that can give me strength Lord..

i also thank God for the people that He has provided me... people that i can really depend on and knows that they are the one that i can count on and talk to when i am down... thank You for all the brothers and sisters around me that is so encouraging...... they really are my best friend but no one can compare to You Lord.... You are always the one i can count on and i know You never fail... You are always there to listen when i needed someone to talk to... You will never leave me nor forsake me....

ThankYou Lord for giving me things that i don't deserve and all the love you have given me... nothing i can do to repay You but to do Your mighty works on earth and to reach out to those who really needs Your love... give me all the opportunities that i need Lord to reach out... especially those who are close to me but do not know You...

Use me Lord... Here I am, Send Me....

songs in my head...

there has been 2 songs stuck in my head lately.... i find the words is so true and the tune is catchy as well...

not ready to make nice - dixie chicks

Forgive sounds good, forget i'm not sure i could

they say time heals everything and i'm still waiting..

i find this line to be so true... i am still waiting for the time where i am fully healed but i just do not know when... only God knows i guess... its hard to forgive and forget somehow...

The last day on earth - Kate Miller

Is the last day on earth, in my dreams, in my dreams

Is the end of the world, and you come back to me

In my dreams

it still haunts me sometime when i dream about it.... it really does feel like the last day on earth to me when it happens... but life have to move on... i have to move on from all these ridiculous dreams and heartbreaks.... who knows, maybe something good is going to happen soon....

maybe one day it could be like this...

You hold me closer than i can never remember being love

I'm not afraid to sleep now, if we can stay like this sometime

God will give me peace so that i can have a good sleep... He is the only one that can give me peace in all these craziness and suffering i have.... Thank You Lord for being so faithful to me... help me continue to have a faithful walk with u Lord....